One month in

 I'm one month in to this WW journey I'm on.  And down 11.6lbs.  My goal for January was to lose 10lbs and I made AND exceeded that goal!  GO ME!

The end of January was hard.  We helped our beloved lab, Buddy, cross the rainbow bridge on the 22nd.  He was 13 and I'd been his "mama" since he was 7 weeks old.  It was hard seeing him struggle.  But even harder to say goodbye.  I grieved him the following week and as a result, gained 2 ounces.  Not bad considering the junk I ate.  I took some photos of myself on January 26th...and will take some new ones on February 26th to compare.

I'm back!

 Yes, this is the 3rd time I'm back on this blog trying to make a change in my life.  

Third time's the charm, right?

I'm starting slow this time...re-joined Weight Watchers (I'm on GREEN!) and setting SMALL goals for myself:

January goals:

Limit soda to one can per day

Move more...close my rings on my Apple Watch each day.

Track my food intake everyday.

I'm hoping that by accomplishing the above goals, I will have dropped a few pounds.  I haven't weighed myself yet...I need to replace the batteries in my scale...but I will update when I do.

#8

Sorry I'm a day late posting this...but yesterday got the better of me.  I did make it to OTF, but I barely made it through.  See, I forgot to eat breakfast before I went...and about 45 minutes in, I started to feel woozy.  Too much exertion without any fuel, and my blood sugar started to drop.  Luckily, someone had some candy to keep me from bottoming out, but the last 15 minutes weren't as "all out" as I'd have liked.

Though I must have done something right...my triceps are KILLING me today.  10 more days until my next measure day!  I haven't seen any change on the scale...but I have noticed...I'm not as winded going up the stairs! 

I ordered some new shirts online yesterday as well...tank tops for working out in the summer.  They have some great sayings on them:

I won't quit, but I will cuss the whole time

Be stronger than your excuses

I Run.  I'm slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter BUT I RUN.

Look in the mirror...that's your competition.

I did it!

I traveled for work Wednesday and Thursday this week...and Thursday I actually hauled myself to OTF in Fort Lauderdale for a 5:30am class!  I live and work in CST so this was really hard to wake up at what my body thought was 3:30am (4:30EST) and actually get myself ready and to a class!  But I am so proud that I did!  It's a HUGE step in changing my mindset and to stop telling myself that "I can't" 

I am DETERMINED.
I am WORTH IT
I am VALUABLE
I CAN DO IT.

2 small victories today!

I had TWO small victories today!  Today, I jogged on the treadmill for a whole minute.  Even my coach was surprised and happy for me.  It was the last block on the tread before we had to hit the rower...and I was hurting, but determined to try.  It was a one minute push followed by a one minute base.  Instead of increasing my incline, I increased my speed to 4 and jogged for the whole minute.  It hurt like crazy and I was huffing and puffing at the end, but VICTORY! 

My second small victory I haven't accomplished yet...only the beginning of it.  See, today was to be my last workout of the week as I'm traveling tomorrow and Thursday for work, and Friday my schedule is full of work calls.  But something made me check to see if there was an OTF near my hotel...and sure enough...there is one about a block away!  So I called to be put on the wait list for the 5:30am class.  YES...5:30 IN THE MORNING!  EASTERN TIME!  I'm number 2 on the list, but was assured I'd have a spot. 

I'm finally getting into the mindset that I WANT to workout.  I WANT to be there.  As much as it hurts...as much as it's hard...as much as it can be embarrassing...I WANT to get it done! 

These small victories are keeping me motivated!!

Another small victory

I had another small victory today.  During my time on the treadmill...I actually hit the mile mark.  In the short time I've been doing this...I have yet to hit that mile mark...until today.

After class, I stayed because I wanted to chat with the coach about a few things...and I'm glad I did.  Another lady stayed and was talking about her friend, who wanted to quit, because she could not get herself into the orange even though she was huffing and puffing.  I spoke up...and said...that's ME!  My muscles burn and hurt well before my heart rate hits that orange zone.  I feel like I'm giving my all...but it's not reflected in the color on the screen.  Plus, having a low resting heart rate doesn't help! 

Coach Brenda said that as long as your heart rate is going up, then going down, (you're hitting the peaks and valleys) then you are doing what you need to do.  That someone else's orange, could be my green.  She also said that fueling up after with protein might help stop some of the muscle aches afterwards.

Needless to say, I have a friend at class now...the lady who stayed.  I'm hoping we can encourage one another...and maybe her other friend can come to a class and I can help encourage her. 

I feel like quitting each day I'm scheduled to go.  I tell myself that I'm too fat to be doing these exercises...that it's not helping me any...that I haven't noticed a change.  And that is something I need to work on.  This is a mental battle for me as much as it's a physical battle.  I need to start telling myself more positive things.  Like I CAN do this.  That's why these small victories are so important to me.  I have such a long journey ahead of me...that when I think about it I get overwhelmed.  So I have to think small...and relish the small things.  Like hitting the mile mark on the treadmill. 

Small victories

When I stop and think about the road ahead...all the weight I have to lose...all the work I have to put in...I get overwhelmed.  I know I didn't get here overnight...and I know that I won't get where I want to be overnight.  So I have to break down my journey into small victories.

Today, I had a small victory.  See, I haven't ran in years.  Probably close to 20 years when I think about it.  But today, during a 30 second push, I decided to try to run.  So during those 30 seconds, I ran...at speed 4, incline 1.  I could feel my fat jiggling...and my muscles burning...and my lungs feeling like they were going to explode.  But I made 30 seconds.  I made it and I'm here to tell about it.  I didn't die.

Today, I earned the most splat points to date.  30 minutes in the orange/red zones.  30 out of a 52 minute workout.  I'm pretty damned proud of myself.

Today, I weighed in at 267.6lbs.